Part of the Problem

It's one of those days when the realization of something hits you square in the face, and it's difficult to concentrate on much more. I know I'm not the only one who gets a reality beat down from time to time, but it still is a difficult item to work through sometimes.

I realize I'm not the only one that gets disgusted with my job, the politics involved and just the utter pointlessness of it all. There just comes a point when you realize that you are not living up to your potential and it really makes you mad. Not really mad at your job, per se, but mad at yourself for settling for less. This is probably the moment when great things happen, when people are inspired to do great things and they take action to change their life forever. However, I am not so disillusioned as to believe it happens like it does in a movie. In the movies, when people have this realization, they get up from their job and walk out to change the world, Jerry Maguire style. In the real world, however, acting like that would probably get you arrested. In the real world, this moment happens in silence and you start to think about your escape. The actual escape may come weeks or months down the road. The point is, the mind has been stimulated and has a purpose.

My realization has not come all at once, but over the course of the past few weeks, in several tiny signs. Life seems to present your contradictions to you in various, subtle ways. I have noticed that many people seem to miss these clues, plodding on through their lives without noticing the opportunities or improvements that can be utilized by learning from your own example. The person who toils away as an insurance salesman, all the while complaining bitterly about the state of the insurance industry is missing an important opportunity to change his or her situation. The problem is that you feel trapped, the idea of something better has long since been removed and replaced with an acceptance of their situation as the best one available. Shortly thereafter, a sense of hoplessness sets in, and you forget how bad it sucks.

I have been in a similar situation for the past few months, finally able to confront the reality of the situation at hand. While your imagination can justify just about anything, finding rationale for your continued unhappiness, the glaring contradiction will, at some point, smack you right between the eyes. So consider this my "virtual" Jerry Maguire moment, clutching my briefcase and walking out of the office to change the system, giving a speech to a stunned audience. Only, I'm not really walking out of the office and I don't own a briefcase and people don't think I've lost my mind. In my imagination though, that's happening. And that's a good start. :-)